Enitan Bereola’s Green Room with Brandon Middleton
Enitan Bereola joined Brandon Middleton for the Green Room series which is highlighting Black and Brown figures through life stories and career advice. This Green Room episode ranges from the best type of seafood all the way to understanding truth and learning how to grow as a person by coming to terms with your personal truth. Check out their full conversation on Youtube here.
Enitan’s Background
Enitan was born in San Jose and studied at the Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University. Enitan started writing at the age of 25 and is a three-time best selling author, father, entrepreneur, and keynote speaker among many other things. He joined Brandon to speak on his career and family experiences to offer advice and share guidance that he has learned over his lifetime. Bereola was awarded with The Power 30 Under 30 Award by Porsche in 2011 and is known for his work GENTLEWOMAN: Etiquette for a Lady and BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate.
Social Media
Over time Enitan’s social media content has shifted to feature his family and home living. As he writes his new book Black Dad, Enitan shared that he is growing with everyone who follows him on Instagram. The transparency required to open up his life to his followers is a small price to pay for being able to share what makes Enitan, Enitan.
“…if it doesn’t have eternal implications, if it’s not love, I can’t really be a part of it.”
Enitan’s goal is to give love and be loved and allowing people to see how his family models this aligns with this mindset. As a child his mother would ensure that he and his siblings constantly interacted with people from different backgrounds to learn to be accepting of all people and his transparency with his family allows for other parents and children to experience the life of another family.
“I’m not going to allow the idea of too much love to get in the way of giving more love. I’m not going to allow a drop in followers due to posting a photo of family to stop me from giving more love. People will catch on eventually.”
Accepting Reality
Brandon and Enitan spoke about the difference between truth and reality and Enitan pointed out that the truth is true whether accepted or denied but reality changes with the wind. That said, the truth can get turned on its head and become far from true. When it comes to sharing hard truths to those who may not be ready to receive them, according to Enitan the best way to give the truth can be covering it in love first.
“Sometimes I can’t make the truth cool. It is what it is. I am going to love you though and you’re going to feel that.
As the conversation shifted to black history and truths across time Enitan pointed out that as horrible as the history is, “we know where we’re going, and that’s truth.” That confidence in the future is built on understanding the truth and continuing to learn and educate others.
“There’s a reason our past is our past. You can’t fight against God. We are who we are and where we’re going is guaranteed. Who’s in our corner and who is leading this is eternal. And that’s all true. Anything else is reality.”
Loving
A central point of Brandon’s conversation with Enitan was love and how crucial it is to each and every aspect of life. Loving your friends and family is important but those people in your life who are hard to love need love the most. Enitan spoke on people who have stayed silent during the Black Lives Matter movement and why it is important to surround those people with love.
“You have to give them grace. Don’t give people a timeline on when they should “get it”, there is a whole story of that human that we don’t know. The people who need the most love show it in the most unloving ways.”
Opening up conversations where people feel heard and loved is the way to heal the world. Those who are hurt stop loving and the people around them can help to remove the obstacles that are keeping them from doing so. The most difficult conversations are the most important, and accepting your truth is difficult but the most beautiful parts of life are born from struggle.
“Learn how to speak openly and honestly with each other. That provides a way to rid yourself of the blockages that are holding you up and stopping you from living this life. This very conversation is a channel and pathway to love. That’s the greatest revolution.”
⚡️Lightning Round⚡️
Favorite cuisine: Nigerian fish, steamed mussels, homemade power protein veggie bowls with rice cooked by his wife, and a lot of tea and water.
Hobbies picked up during quarantine: Collecting black art from the likes of artists like Skyler Grey who was featured behind Enitan throughout the Zoom and angel investing .
Favorite hobbies with his son: Playing Nintendo together, reading and going to the library, watching music on Youtube, and in general just relieving his childhood experiences with his son.
New Years Resolutions: Enitan framed his goals as more of a resolve than a resolution. He has resolve to set his family up for the best present and future and a resolve to be present on the journey of life.
Final Takeaway
“Try to be true. If you can’t look at yourself in the mirror at length or if you start getting uncomfortable there is immediate surface work to be done there. You can’t really be true then. Just attempt and try and you will eventually get it right. Keep trying to love and keep trying to be true. Lean towards something that you’re afraid of. That’s always a sign that’s exactly where you need to go.”
